Being Ugly

           A few weeks ago there was a video going around called "Real Beauty Sketches" by the Dove Campaign. I'm sure many of you have seen it.  (if not you can check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk)  Basically they use a forensic artist to render women’s descriptions of themselves compared with the descriptions of others. In the end you see the two renderings. The self-described on the left, the other on the right. The ones on the left were always uglier than the ones on the right. At first, I loved it. It made me feel good. I posted it on facebook. Then I read a blog post called  "Why Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches” Video Makes Me Uncomfortable… and Kind of Makes Me Angry"  It totally changed my mind. (Scroll to the bottom to see the link.)  There were two things the blogger said in her article that got me thinking the most.

      The first thing she said that caught me was: "there are real women who look like the women on the left. What are you saying about them, exactly?”  I had the same inkling of that thought when I first saw the video, but I didn't really think about it. So what if you really are ugly? Face it, we have a cultural standard of beauty, and some people just don’t meet it. 

    The other big thing the blogger pointed out was a quote from one of the women in the video. The woman said:   “I should be more grateful of my natural beauty.  It impacts the choices and the friends we make, the jobs we go out for, the way we treat our children, it impacts everything. It couldn't be more critical to your happiness.” 

    Is our “natural” beauty really that important?? This is something I struggle with. I look at women that don’t seem to need anything but a shower and a comb to look fresh, young, vibrant, and gorgeous. I compare myself to those women and feel less-than. Sure, I can look pretty good with some primping, but I lack “natural beauty.”  You may argue that everyone needs a little primping, but the fact remains, when we all wake up the morning, there are some differences.  Some of us look cute, and some of us look downright awful.

       As a religious person, I have always been taught that the Lord doesn't care what we look like. In 1 Samuel 16:7 the Lord tells Samuel:   "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."  

       If the Lord doesn't care about our outward appearance why do the prophets encourage us to look our best? Paul ask the Corinthians "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" Our bodies are sacred temples, so we should care for them, but it doesn't matter if our temple is not as “beautiful” as another person’s. It is still a sacred gift and that in itself makes it beautiful.  

   I also believe that we are encouraged to look our best just because we are encouraged to be our best in general.  We all have physical traits we cannot control, but we do our best. We are encouraged to sing our best, but some people just don’t have good vocal chords or good ears for hearing pitch.  I'm sure it is very sad for some of them, but they don't look in the mirror every morning and feel terrible because they weren't physically blessed with a beautiful voice. We are encouraged to be physically healthy but some people, like me, are just terrible at sports. I don't look at myself in the mirror every day and sigh that I am just not as coordinated as other people.  Why do I look at myself in the mirror and sigh that I am just not as beautiful as a lot of other women?

       I think that physical beauty has been too important to me. For example, I am always wanting my husband to tell me I am beautiful. It is not a bad compliment, but is that the only compliment I need to hear? I have realized that although I love it when my husband tells me I am beautiful, my favorite compliment is, "You're so smart." Coming from my genius husband, that means a lot. There are so many quotes to the effect of "tell the woman you love that she is beautiful." But how many quotes do you see that encourage men to compliment women on things other than their looks? It's as if the only thing that matters is that she is beautiful, and if she doesn't feel beautiful, she feels worthless. I am done feeling that way. What defines me is not my physical characteristics, but my experiences, my likes and dislikes, my talents, my joys and sorrows, and the fact that I am a daughter of God. I am more than just a face. 

"Shrimp Girl" by William Hogarth

       I am done needing to feel beautiful. Don’t tell me I am more beautiful than I think because it doesn't matter.  I know what I look like, I know where I stand on the cultural beauty scale, and I don’t care that it’s not at the top. If I was hideous it wouldn't matter.  I have more important things to worry about. I know that the Lord loves me and doesn't care one bit how beautiful or ugly I am. I am here to do His work, not to be pretty. 

I am not a natural beauty.  My teeth are so crooked that even shy children ask me about them, my skin is unpredictable and dark under my eyes, my hair is mostly frizzy and dull, my head is shaped kind of funny, and I will never have a classic hourglass figure. But what does it matter? It doesn't.

"Why Dove’s “Real Beauty Sketches” Video Makes Me Uncomfortable… and Kind of Makes Me Angry"
http://jazzylittledrops.tumblr.com/post/48118645174/why-doves-real-beauty-sketches-video-makes-me


Also check out this video that seems completely irrelevant at first but turns out to be totally relevant. Its mostly for a laugh though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FVcrkP1X6Y


And  these completely relevant links: 
http://www.jaimemoorephotography.com/2013/05/09/not-just-a-girl/  

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-05-03/news/ct-oped-0503-daum-20130503_1_dove-natural-beauty-friday-night-lights